Canadian NLP expert and trainer, Shelle Rose Charvet, is not only in my professional speaking circle, but someone whose intelligence, I admire. She and others with high resilience know how to respectfully influence people’s thinking, beliefs or behaviors. In Charvet’s book, Words that Change Minds: Mastering the Language of Influence, she describes how different people are motivated by a variety of factors.
While there are no good or bad patterns, it is helpful to be aware of your own tendencies and have a sense of others. Those others might be your partner, children, co-workers or clients.
Words that Change Minds expands on a Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) tool called Language and Behaviour Profile (LAB Profile) which was developed by Rodger Bailey.
One of the most fascinating aspects of motivation is evident in advertisements. Advertisers typically know that people are either motivated to purchase a produce or service to attain a goal or to avoid some pain. Watch TV advertisements with this concept in mind. The next time you are creating a sentence or a flyer to persuade others, think about these two ends of the pain and pleasure spectrum. “No more back pain with our sauna, only deep relaxation and a good night’s sleep.”
Some of the concepts explored by Rose Charvet include:
- There are two main kinds of motivation traits. People will either act proactively and initiate or they will react for others to initiate.
- Motivation direction is either toward or away from.
- Sources of motivation are either internally within or externally from others or circumstances.
- Another aspect of motivation is those who prefer options and possibilities or those who prefer a right way to take action.
- Decisions tend to be made based on keeping things the same, keeping them the same with some exceptions or inviting difference and change.
- Information is handled by paying attention to details and specifics or in generalities or in the big picture.
- Working styles are either independent or proximity (need others available) or co-operative (share responsibility).
Shelle Rose Charvet Quotes:
- “Each person, through genetic makeup, environmental influences, and individual biochemistry, has managed to program herself or himself to be excellent at a certain number of things, mediocre at different things, and just awful in other areas.”
- “You can determine what will trigger and maintain someone’s motivation and how they internally process information.”
- “Building a high-performance team depends on how well you use the different strengths in the team to accomplish what needs to be done.”
- “When you are learning or teaching something, it is useful to assess whether the need is to know the why’s and wherefore’s, or to simply know how to.”
- “I have noticed that those responsible for introducing or implementing change in organizations frequently have a high personal need for change. Often they are mismatched with their environment, and so, do not speak the same language as the people they wish to influence.”
- “You can make a big difference, improve what is already good, and maintain relationships that are important to you.”
You may be thinking, “This sounds manipulative.” It is to some degree. Most of us regularly and unconsciously use our inherent powers of persuasion to manipulate one another. The knowledge above helps us match our message to others’ tendencies. When these techniques are applied consciously and with care, the process might be called “effective listening” or “influencing” and perhaps even “inspiring.”
What are your experiences of influencing others’ thinking? If you want to take your influence up a notch consider getting a hold of the well-researched, Words That Change Minds.
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Patricia Morgan MA CCC helps her readers, clients, and audiences lighten their load, brighten their outlook, and strengthen their resilience. To go from woe to WOW call 403.242.7796 or email a request.