Do you have a positive focus on who you are? I recall when I used to ask myself, “What is wrong with you?” But seldom did I focus on what was right with me. Fortunately I matured and started focusing on what I was pleased to acknowledge about myself, my decisions, and life.
“What is right with you?” is a basic resiliency strengthening question. Other questions we might ask ourselves are:
- “What is it I believe about myself?”
- “Do I believe that I am basically lovable and capable . . . just like everyone else?”
- “Do I believe that on the whole I do the best I can with the resources available to me?”
- “What do I believe about my partner, my children, my friends, and my co-workers?”
Indeed, we can discover how much we value ourselves, how much we focus on the positive of who we are. If we value ourselves we take care of ourselves physically, emotionally, mentally, socially and spiritually. To that end, please look at the below questions and your habitual tendencies from a holistic perspective:
A Positive Focus on your PHYSICAL well-being
- Keep safe?
- Wear a seat belt?
- Drive within the speed limit?
- Drive with minimal distraction?
- Do not smoke?
Do you rest daily?
- Get ample sleep?
Do you eat and drink well?
- Eat breakfast daily?
- Eat at least 6 fruits and veggies?
- Drink less than 1 1/2 ounces of liquor or 8 ounces of wine per day?
- Drink 6 to 8 glasses of water?
Do you exercise?
- 20 minutes or more, 3 x week?
- Lift weights 3 times a week?
- Own and walk a dog?
Do you prevent physical problems?
- Have an annual medical?
- Brush and floss teeth daily?
A Positive Focus on your EMOTIONAL well-being
- Notice emotions in your body?
- Identify and share at least basic feelings—glad, sad, mad and scared?
- Laugh and cry?
- Do a fun activity at least weekly?
- Develop your sense of humor?
A Positive Focus on your MENTAL well-being
- Have a developed internal locus of control?
- Learn continuously?
- Use your right brain (creativity) and left brain (logic)?
- Think logically yet optimistically?
- Manage your finances and keep your agreements?
- Have an awareness of your negative self talk so you can better replace it with supportive words?
- Say “yes”, “no” and “I’ll think about it” assertively?
- Know your strengths and give what you can? If not take the free and well researched VIA Signature Strengths.
- Do a meditative activity regularly?
A Positive Focus on your SOCIAL well-being
- Invite cooperation?
- Work overtime less than twice a month?
- Participate in workplace and family meetings?
- Delegate where possible?
- Manage fair labor distribution at work and home?
- Have friends who care and listen?
- Avoid negative gossip?
- Volunteer at least twice a month?
A Positive Focus on your SPIRITUAL well-being
- Aim to attain a sense of peace?
- Have some personal sense of the meaning of life?
Finally, can you identify when you began using these resiliency strengthening habits? Perhaps you discovered through a past struggle you uncovered what is right about you or perhaps you began a process of self-righting to increase more of what is right about you. Good for you to make an effort to take some time for a positive focus of what is right with you!
Resources: Real Age by Dr. M. Roizen and The Resiliency Advantage by Dr. A. Siebert Ryan
Here is a video describing different perspectives of our personality that may interest you: