Do you have a positive focus on who you are? Too often I notice I ask myself, “What is wrong with you?” But seldom do I focus on what is right with me. “What is right with you?” is a basic resiliency strengthening question. Other questions we might ask ourselves are:
- “What is it I believe about myself?”
- “Do I believe that I am basically lovable and capable . . . just like everyone else?”
- “Do I believe that on the whole I do the best I can with the resources available to me?”
- “What do I believe about my partner, my children, my friends, and my co-workers?”
We can discover how much we value our selves, how much we focus on the positive of who we are. If we value ourselves we take care of ourselves physically, emotionally, mentally, socially and spiritually. Take a look at the below questions and your habitual tendencies from a holistic perspective:
What do you do for your PHYSICAL well-being?
- Keep safe?
- Wear a seat belt?
- Drive within the speed limit?
- Drive with minimal distraction?
- Do not smoke?
Do you rest daily?
- Get ample sleep?
Do you eat and drink well?
- Eat breakfast daily?
- Eat at least 6 fruits and veggies?
- Drink less than 1 1/2 ounces of liquor or 8 ounces of wine per day?
- Drink 6 to 8 glasses of water?
Do you exercise?
- 20 minutes or more, 3 x week?
- Lift weights 3 times a week?
- Own and walk a dog?
Do you prevent physical problems?
- Have an annual medical?
- Brush and floss teeth daily?
What do you do for your EMOTIONAL well-being?
- Notice emotions in your body?
- Identify and share at least basic feelings—glad, sad, mad and scared?
- Laugh and cry?
- Do a fun activity at least weekly?
- Develop your sense of humor?
What do you do for your MENTAL well-being?
- Have a developed internal locus of control?
- Learn continuously?
- Use your right brain (creativity) and left brain (logic)?
- Think logically yet optimistically?
- Manage your finances and keep your agreements?
- Have an awareness of your negative self talk so you can better replace it with supportive words?
- Say “yes”, “no” and “I’ll think about it” assertively?
- Do a meditative activity regularly?
What do you do for your SOCIAL well-being?
- Invite cooperation?
- Work overtime less than twice a month?
- Participate in workplace and family meetings?
- Delegate where possible?
- Manage fair labor distribution at work and home?
- Have friends who care and listen?
- Avoid negative gossip?
- Volunteer at least twice a month?
What do you do for your SPIRITUAL well-being?
- Aim to attain a sense of peace?
- Have some personal sense of the meaning of life?
Can you identify when you began using these resiliency strengthening habits? Perhaps you discovered through a past struggle you uncovered what is right about you or perhaps you began a process of self-righting to increase more of what is right about you. Good for you to make an effort to take some time for a positive focus of what is right with you!
Resources: Real Age by Dr. M. Roizen and The Resiliency Advantage by Dr. A. Siebert Ryan
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Patricia Morgan MA CCC helps her readers, clients, and audiences lighten their load, brighten their outlook, and strengthen their resilience. To go from woe to WOW call 403.242.7796 or email a request.