Dancing Backwards in High Heels – Book Summary

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Dancing Backwards in High Heels: A Book Summary

It was such a thrill when Patricia O’Gorman read and endorsed my book From Woe to WOW: How Resilient Women Succeed at Work. Her own classic, Dancing Backwards in High Heels: How Women Master the Art of Resilience, was one of my inspirations for writing it.

Long before “resilience” became a buzzword, O’Gorman was exploring women’s resilience—how women navigate life’s challenges with grace, grit, and a deep sense of connection.

She recognized that women’s greatest strength—their focus on relationships—can also make them vulnerable to losing touch with their personal power. Yet, as O’Gorman reminds us in Dancing Backwards in High Heels, this same relational sensitivity can become a powerful source of strength and leadership when understood and embraced.

Patricia O’Gorman, Ph.D. is a psychologist, speaker, and author who has spent decades helping women build confidence and reclaim their inner strength. She co-founded the National Association for Children of Alcoholics (NACoA) and has worked extensively in trauma recovery, addiction treatment, and family systems. Her other books, include The Resilient Woman: Mastering the 7 Steps to Personal Power,

Overview:

According to the book’s Amazon description,

Dancing Backwards in High Heels speaks to women from all walks of life—those who’ve survived difficult childhoods, those juggling careers and family, and those simply trying to live up to others’ expectations. O’Gorman encourages us to notice what has helped us survive in the past and to draw on those same strengths to manage change and uncertainty.”

Reading Dancing Backwards in High Heels feels like sitting with a wise friend who believes in you. It affirms that women are capable of extraordinary acts and that we already have the power within to be strong and resilient.

Basic Concepts of Dancing Backwards in High Heels

You can develop a resilient voice that reflects your authentic self.
You can increase your self-awareness and recognize how your past has shaped your strengths.
You can embrace both your strengths and vulnerabilities as essential parts of your growth.

Through self-reflection and practical exercises, O’Gorman invites readers to explore their lives—childhood experiences, pain, fears, independence, resourcefulness, and personal power. She outlines the protective factors that nurture women’s resilience:

Personal aspects: good health, empathy, humor, flexibility, and communication skills.
Family aspects: closeness, clear boundaries, structure, and consistency.
Community aspects: positive school experiences, supportive mentors, and healthy relationships.

The book’s title draws on a famous quote by Texas Governor Ann Richards: “Ginger Rogers did everything that Fred Astaire did. She just did it backwards and in high heels.” It’s a perfect image of how women keep balancing, moving, and dancing through life’s challenges—often with extra obstacles but with tremendous grace.

Patricia O’Gorman Quotes

“We are most successful in life when we can achieve a balance between self and other.”
“Stories are as much a reflection of the teller as they are about the subject. What story we choose to tell—and what aspects of it we emphasize—reveal the issues we are currently struggling with and our deepest beliefs.”
“Resilience is not about avoiding stress—it’s about learning to dance with it.”
“We gain strength when we stop trying to be perfect and start being real.”
“Our family’s tales about our women relatives hold a special importance for us as women. They reveal the strategies, successful and otherwise, employed by the women in our family as they struggled with many of the same issues we face today.”

Here’s an invitation O’Gorman welcomes you to explore:

Does your life represent your values and goals?
Why or why not?
What changes might help you bring your life into closer alignment with what truly matters?

Conclusion

Take some time to reflect on these questions—and treat yourself to Dancing Backwards in High Heels. It’s a timeless, uplifting guide to women’s resilience that reminds us that resilience isn’t about perfection; it’s about self-discovery, courage, and dancing through life’s challenges with confidence—yes, even while Dancing Backwards in High Heels.