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Patricia Morgan

Patricia Morgan MA CCC helps her readers, clients, and audiences lighten their load, brighten their outlook, and strengthen their resilience. To go from woe to WOW call 403.830.6919 or email a request. If you enjoyed or benefited from this blog, please leave a Comment below and subscribe to my eNewsletterYour Uplift

4 Comments

  1. Jo lee
    November 13, 2023 @ 7:54 pm

    Hello. I loved reading your message. My Grandson is being bullied right now and it hurts to see his pain. He is only twelve years old and as his grandmother I just want the pain to stop , please advise me! Thank you Jo

    Reply

    • Patricia Morgan
      November 14, 2023 @ 12:20 pm

      Hi Jo,
      There is nothing like grandma love. So glad you are a caring watch over your grandson. I just imagine you provide an emotionally safe space for him to pour out his heart. That in and of itself can make a significant and mentally healthy difference. Yet, bullying is not to be taken lightly and can leave a child traumatized. Here are some ideas to consider, while remembering that you, and probably his parents, know him and the situation better than me or others, including professionals:
      1. Help your grandson understand that he is not alone and that it’s not his fault.
      2. Encourage him to use ignoring, walking away, or seeking help from a trusted adult.
      3. If safe to do so, encourage him to speak up and assert himself the person(s) involved. The book, The Monster, the Mouse and Me by Pat Palmer can help https://www.amazon.ca/Mouse-Monster-Me-Assertiveness-people/dp/1647045517/ref=sr_1_1?hvadid=588317930774&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=9001333&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=e&hvrand=10169024862885758773&hvtargid=kwd-308872220391&hydadcr=16523_13432595&keywords=the+mouse+the+monster+and+me&qid=1699988095&sr=8-1
      4. Document all Incidents of the bullying including dates, times, locations, and people involved.
      5. Encourage the parents to schedule a meeting with teachers, school counselors, and administrators to discuss the issue, where they share the documentation.
      6. Work together with the school to develop a plan to address and prevent further bullying. Advocate for educational programs such as The Virtues Project for both students and staff — https://www.solutionsforresilience.com/the-virtues-to-guide-goodness/7. Foster positive friendships by encouraging your child to spend time with supportive peers. If he does not have strong friendships, consider signing him for classes, sports activities, or community groups where he can develop a healthy and supportive network.
      8. If the bullying persists or escalates, consider involving mental health professionals, such as a counselor or therapist, to help him cope with the emotional impact.
      9. Be aware of his online presence and monitor his social media accounts.
      10. Regularly check in with him to see how he is feeling and if the situation has improved.

      Bless you for the love you give your dear grandson! ❤️🐞

      Reply

  2. Sonata
    December 27, 2022 @ 2:15 am

    The fact that children can be so cruel as to bully an old-aged grandma is just super sad. How can children be so mean?

    Reply

    • Patricia Morgan
      January 2, 2023 @ 2:04 pm

      Thank you for caring enough, Sonata to ask. Children learn to behave in mean ways. Show me a baby or toddler who uses mean behaviors.

      Consider the incidents of domestic violence–men calling their wives derogatory names and beating them. In some homes it is the woman beating on the man. Consider how mean-spirited North American politics has become. Consider how mean-spirited social media has become. Consider the popularity of violent movies and television shows. Consider how the British tabloids treated Harry and Megan (put your personal likes or dislikes aside as no human deserves the kind of vile treatment they received).

      How do we counter these influences? Lead the way with compassion and kindness. Provide an emotionally safe ear. Stand tall and say, “This behavior is unacceptable. We need to treat each other with respect and dignity.

      Also, be aware, there are children with brain impairment who do not have the capacity to manage their emotions, including anger, and consequently may use aggressive behavior or be goaded by other emotionally wounded children to commit violating acts. Those children need specialized care. When I worked with Lifers (prisoners who had committed murder) I realized how many of them had been manipulated into crime. Often they had brain damage due to Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder.

      Life is complicated with few easy answers. On the whole I advocate that we become clear on our values and live and model, best we can, with integrity.

      Reply

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