2 Comments

  1. V
    May 18, 2020 @ 9:16 am

    “Here is my perspective: It is best to reserve “I feel proud of you” for situations when you have invested significant amounts of time, energy and expertise into the success of another.”
    Sorry, but this is just wrong. Why would I be proud of my son if I have done everything for him? It’s the moments where he does not need my help anymore that make me proud. Yes, “proud of you” relates to you like having a famous friend that you want to brag about to others. The same way you may feel about having a father, daughter, boss, employee, or sometimes colleague that makes you proud. Wrong way of using it would be when this person is distantly related, or not related to you at all and when you are diminishing the capabilities of the person with this phrase. For example, my grandmother told me she is proud of me when I received my university diploma. So for quite a long time I had this thought “Did she believe I can fail?”

    Reply

    • Patricia Morgan
      May 24, 2020 @ 12:41 am

      Hi V,

      Thank you for contributing to this discussion. I agree with you and appreciate the opportunity to clarity. To answer your question of “Why would I be proud of my son if I have done everything for him?” I would answer, “not appropriate.” We aim to have our children ‘proud of themselves’.

      I didn’t elaborate or give an example of “It is best to reserve “I feel proud of you” for situations when you have invested significant amounts of time, energy and expertise into the success of another.” There have been times when someone has spent considerable time teaching me a skill as when my hubby first taught me how to use a computer and said, “I’m proud of you.” Or a mentor who helped me write my first book. It felt like they had ‘earned’ the right to say “I’m proud of you.” Or another situation might be a coach to an athlete.

      Yes, and like you, I have seen people say “proud of you” to brag about having a famous friend. And ditto, ditto to the rest of what you wrote.

      Thank you so much for reading and adding to this annoying habit of some people.

      And, congratulations on your degree. Just curious, what is your degree in?

      Here’s to your continued critical thinking and resilience,
      Patricia

      Reply

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