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6 Comments

  1. Elissa Oman
    August 6, 2015 @ 9:04 pm

    Great article Patricia – thanks for helping me see another perspective!

    Elissa

    Reply

    • Patricia Morgan
      August 6, 2015 @ 11:01 pm

      Thank you Elissa,

      As the editor of my books, I appreciate your comment and feel surprised by your brevity, here! 🙂

      It is true that we can become complacent in our thinking and decision making; following along with little awareness of different perspectives. I am sure I too error in some habitual thinking and beliefs; yet attempt to increase my awareness and share my insights in this platform.

      Since you liked this blog/article you might find the article/blog, Are You REALLY in an Abusive Relationship? It was inspired by a counselling client who repeatedly called certain people ‘abusive’ without thinking through what ‘abuse’ really means.

      Again, thank you for leaving your comment.

      Reply

  2. Bonnie Bakkum
    October 10, 2014 @ 6:16 am

    I began reading with a litte skepticism. Then, found you addressed my skepticism and I thought YES! She has this right. We are conscious for our choices. Everyone is unique. Someone that is toxic to me, may not be to someone else. Someone I think is fun to be around, might be seen as negative to another. Sometimes we need to think about how much time we are around the person we see as negative. Sometimes we need to think about how much the negative behavior is or isn’t affecting us. We dont always have to react. BUT when negativity becomes abuse, then I tend to believe “we don’t need to like that negative person, nor respect or have anything to do with that person.

    Reply

    • Patricia Morgan
      October 11, 2014 @ 2:29 pm

      Hi Bonnie, Good on you for not swallowing grand statements made by others, including me. The older I become, the more I find myself questioning some of proclamation’s that are posted on Facebook and elsewhere. As a therapeutic counsellor, long-time volunteer, and caring watch to our daughter and two of our grandchildren who live with disabilities, I definitely took issue with the Rohn quotation, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

      I avoid labeling people such as “negative people”. There are negative thoughts, beliefs, words and acts. Indeed, recently, I spoke to a woman whose ex-partner is making menacing threats regardless of a restraining order. Now that is negative, toxic and dangerous.

      So in the end, yes avoid others when “negativity becomes abuse” or as I wrote in my last line “Give them a break, unless they are emotionally toxic or a danger to your well being.”

      Reply

  3. Janet
    August 20, 2014 @ 10:15 pm

    I believe you are talking about balance in one’s life. There are times that we need kind loving people in our lives and times we need tough loving, too. The challenge is to be aware of what we need and when. I think you hit the nail on the head, when you said, if they are emotional toxic or a danger to our well being, then we need to step out of their circle. It takes courage and makes us resilient. Thanks Pat.

    Reply

    • Patricia Morgan
      October 11, 2014 @ 2:14 pm

      Hi Janet,
      Thank you for your comment. Somehow I missed seeing it before this. If those of us who are in a more aware and healthy state, “delete” or remove those who are perceived as “negative” out of our life, the concept of compassion, empathy, acceptance, and humanitarianism go out the window. Two years ago I presented to the staff of Bowden prison. They are not in a position to remove the negative people from their life but hopefully they have the capacity you use “tough love” and take good care of themselves whilst interacting with what we might imagine are a majority of disturbing prisoners.

      There is another thought. If someone is “disturbed” they have an internal trouble. If we call someone else “disturbing” it is quite possible that they are triggering something that is internally “disturbed” or stirring in us!

      I love your last line “It takes courage and makes us resilient”.

      Reply

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