Most of us have had our resiliency challenged when we feel resentment for hurtful behavior by others. Perhaps equally as painful is longing for others to forgive our transgressions. Then we are stuck. Those who are wise tell us that our emotional freedom rests in putting forgiveness into action–for ourselves and others! But how? I […]
social intelligence, feelings, boundaries, emotions, humor
Even those of us who are typically considered assertive can have off-guard moments of self-doubt.
Most parents want to be joyful, encouraging and wise with their children
Those with a strong internal locus of control believe that they are primarily in charge of their lives. Those with a strong external locus of control believe that they are primarily at the mercy of other people, fate or chance. They often perceive themselves as victims of their situations.
Too often one adult declares that another adult is being abusive. Before you decide you are in a bullying or abusive relationship and call the Abuse Police, get a handle on what is really happening. OK? Abuse is mistreatment, by any other person or persons, that violates a person’s human and civil rights. Children […]
Most of us have done it. We have walked out on a loved one, slammed a door, said something we regretted or burst into rage or tears. I have been there screaming, “I will go crazy if you don’t do that!” I needed to learn emotional regulation skills. By the way, I did! We tend […]
Years ago at a therapy training session, I was trigged into feeling deep emotional pain. Those feelings hijacked my focus. When I approached the trainer in a distraught state she looked at me and said, “You do know how to self-regulate, don’t you?” The training content reminded me of something I had done long ago […]
Sharla Bugarin, one of readers of my eNewsletter, Your Uplift, wrote: “In my work I find one of the most challenging aspects many patients face in their recoveries is the stigma they face in regards to personality disorders and addictions. There are such awful preconceived ideas about these populations that add a lot of barriers for change […]
In my daughter Kelly’s and my book, Love Her As She Is: Lessons from a Daughter Stolen by Addictions I describe fourteen ways to love unconditionally with clear boundaries. The first way is take your frustrations to someone you trust. Family Patterns of Feeling Frustrated Life events can often trigger us to feel frustrated. As […]
My Tweet read, “When you can not change a situation, take a breath & change your mind.” Adapting to change, in my mind, is a useful practice. The response read, “Patricia, I usually love the things you post but I disagree with this one. At what point can you not change a situation? And when […]
Friend, Jannette, said to me, “Thank you to Les and you for staying married for soooooo many years. So many people are looking for the perfect partner. They end up separating and starting all over again or with no-one.” WOW! What a lovely compliment. Looking for perfection is a waste of time. Even more fruitless, […]
Have you ever said or done anything you regret? I am not talking about a fumble mumble or tripping over the front hall rug. Rather, I am referring here to disrespecting someone, emotionally wounding another, or crossing over a personal boundary boundary. I’ve done my fair share. For example, I have: Acted disrespectfully. Years ago, I invited a […]